Monday, October 11, 2010

Sure I'm an ally.

So it was quite subtly brought to my attention through Facebook, that today is "National Coming Out Day". In the very strictest sense of the phrase this doesn't really apply to me, but in a larger sense, I think this affects us all. Or should. It just seemed to me that I probably have more to say on the subject than a simple copy/paste status update could do justice to.
I don't label myself as homosexual, or straight, or bi, or any of the above. Quite frankly unless I'm trying to have sex with you...or you are trying to have sex with me...its none of your business. It is certainly not the business of any other single person, group of persons, organization, religion, or ESPECIALLY...government. When asked...I simply tell people...I'm human. To label myself based solely on where in my own choosing and by my own cognizance I decide to put my penis, is beyond ridiculous.
We live in a land of hypocrisy. A country full of people that get upset if we don't more than encourage our children to pledge allegiance to a flag, stating within the context, that we are both united, and indivisible...when really it seems we are steeped in ideas of division, and separation.
The fact that we put to vote whether or not ANY group of law abiding, tax paying citizens can be afforded full civil rights based on nothing more than who they decide to love is beyond reprehensible. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. This is also a country that once put to vote whether or not people of a different color were in fact human.
The very idea, that these civil rights can be put to vote is reprehensible. All rights, for all citizens. The fact the these rights are prejudiced upon who a person loves is bottom of the tar barrel disgusting. Yet, they are based on nothing more than the perpetuation of separation based on some imagined moral superiority. I'm sorry, but until straight people can figure out how to "keep the sanctity of marriage", I don't think they have any right to the monopoly of controlling it.
However, I digress. This is a side issue at the moment. The more pressing issue of course being the sudden rash of hatred, bigotry, and abuse, that has led to the actual death of so many people.
Don't get me wrong...I know the hatred, bigotry and abuse have always been there...hell I took it from kids when I was in high school, and I'm not even homosexual. I was a theatre kid though, who was well spoken, liked to read, and didn't give two shits about "goin huntin" every obviously I must have been queer. Whatever.
I'm not, nor ever have been in the position that so many people, and so many people I know and love have been. Its true, that to a large degree I may not understand the pain, or shame that others face. Here's what I do know...Dead is dead.
Its hard for me to imagine, and I certainly don't claim to know, what pressure must have been put on these kids to lead them to make the choices they did. Of course everyone knows the story of the dude who jumped of GWB, but I'm sure there is a lot there that no one will ever know.
Here's what I do know. That with a little more bravery, a little more self acceptance, and a little more "fuck you" attitude toward the world, and a scumbag roomate...things would have turned out a little different. Maybe not a lot different. Scumbag roomate would still face jail time, still be kicked out of college, and still (hopefully) have his entire life and future ruined. The biggest difference of course would be GWB jumper dude would STILL BE ALIVE.
We live in a society where his choices were to face the people he loves with a fact about himself they may not like...OR DIE. To me that isn't a choice, but obviously we have made what could be the most amazing thing about a person...the most embarrassing. Its sickening.
It has always been and will always be that for me, the mark of a person is not who he loves...but how. There is NOTHING wrong with how a person loves. Its heartbreaking that we will destroy people with their own capacity to love and be loved. To make them feel shame for what should bring them the greatest joy.
To any and all friends I have, and people I don't know, and people I'll never meet. If you are quietly hiding in your closet...please...PLEASE...come SCREAMING out with with joy, and enthusiasm, and rage. Yes rage. Rage at anybody who EVER made you feel like your place in the world was in a closet to begin with. Do not ever apologize for being who you are. Do not ever let another human being make you think you even OWE them an apology for being who you are. There is no government...or society that is worth giving up your true self for.
Be brave. Bravery in and of itself lasts only a few moments. The results of bravery will last the rest of your life.